Milton Erickson, the father of modern hypnosis, has said, “You had better be willing to reflect upon the words you use, to wonder what their meanings are, and to seek out and understand their many associations.”
He was speaking in this instance of the use of language in a clinical context. How many of us consider how we use our words in normal everyday life?
Especially, have you considered observing the effects of your own self-talk? Of course, we all know the futility of using the four-letter word “try” (…and fail). Have you ever considered what it would be like if you could follow yourself for a day, and see on your face the effect of your personal language? Did your words make you smile? Did you choose words that make the difficult tasks easier or the boring tasks exciting?
Your other-than-conscious mind is listening.
Sometimes I'll catch myself or somebody else putting themselves down. “I can't do it,” we'll say, “I’m stupid.” And the OTC is listening to this, and it is willing to oblige. “Stupid? I can do stupid. Stupid's easy. One big helping of stupid, coming right up.”
How much better is it to say: “I haven't figured this thing out, yet, and I'm gonna.” Does that bring a curiosity for some insight on the task that hasn't yet been seen? Observe the effects, and if that change of language doesn't improve your outlook, which next one will?
Even in everyday situations, when talking with somebody who is using less-than-helpful language, you can acknowledge their statement using the more-useful language: “I see that you haven't figured that out yet.”
In the coming days, spend a little bit of time considering your use of language in everyday situations.