No, it is not a town in southern Italy because it is not a destination. It is a much discussed and used word. It has been abused in many a humorous way.
The NLP definition is, “matching aspects of another person’s external behavior”. Being the same creates rapport. The ongoing process of matching is referred to a pacing. Rapport is a choice.
Over the many years I have been in NLP, I have experienced various people who have read a book on NLP, attempting to match every element of my behavior, tone and language. It is humorous to change my behavior and watch them scramble to match. Why do we notice this consciously? Why doesn’t that work?
Matching behavior is powerful because it is unconscious. The unconscious mind of the other person recognizes a friendly. It should be done elegantly, gracefully and respectfully. If it is not, it can be interpreted as mimicking and some may find it insulting or at best humorous.
Matching is not about being agreeable or nice, although is it nice to be nice. Matching is simply the art of being the Same.
Some of the ways we can match are to adjust our bodies to be similar to the other person’s posture and pacing consistent us of body movements like eye blinks, smiles; tonality, volume; gestures; listening to an utilizing repeated phrases; cross-over matching, adjusting the tempo of voice to the person’s rate of breathing, and a very valuable one, matching their breathing.
Instead of trying to do them all at the same time, I suggest that you pick one or two and pace them comfortably.
This is what Dave Dobson does with the famous Other-than-conscious-hello. He picks a piece of behavior and acknowledges it respectfully. Since rapport is an ongoing phenomena, if one comes from a place of caring and wanting to get to know someone it works. You can do it from 30 feet away. It is a powerful tool when done with respect and courtesy. We teach the OTC hello and many other unconscious/other-than-conscious-skills in our Practitioner training. You get the opportunity to practice with your fellow participants in the class.