Articles

Not your ship anchor…the other kind.

The definition of anchoring that we’re interested in here is “The process of associating an internal response with some external trigger (similar to classical conditioning) so that the response may be quickly, an sometimes covertly, reaccessed.”

So we can deliberately set an anchor for a great state that we want to access again easily.

The anchor can be set powerfully while you are experiencing a specific stimulus or in a really great state.

But what about non-deliberate anchors? They can be wonderful or not. Anchors can be set out of awareness…valuable and not so valuable ones.

Some of the inappropriate responses we have are caused by old anchors…unconscious anchors.

It might be valuable to keep that in mind before we judge someone’s seemingly off-the-wall response.

Remember, feelings don’t just come from nowhere. Accessing pictures, sounds, smells and tastes results in feelings or sensations whether they are very pleasant or not.

When we do recognize this, break state/interrupt the pattern. Do it often enough, the anchor can be gone, unless you want to keep it.

No, it is not a town in southern Italy because it is not a destination. It is a much discussed and used word. It has been abused in many a humorous way.

The NLP definition is, “matching aspects of another person’s external behavior”. Being the same creates rapport. The ongoing process of matching is referred to a pacing. Rapport is a choice.

Over the many years I have been in NLP, I have experienced various people who have read a book on NLP, attempting to match every element of my behavior, tone and language. It is humorous to change my behavior and watch them scramble to match. Why do we notice this consciously? Why doesn’t that work?

Matching behavior is powerful because it is unconscious. The unconscious mind of the other person recognizes a friendly. It should be done elegantly, gracefully and respectfully. If it is not, it can be interpreted as mimicking and some may find it insulting or at best humorous.

Matching is not about being agreeable or nice, although is it nice to be nice. Matching is simply the art of being the Same.

Some of the ways we can match are to adjust our bodies to be similar to the other person’s posture and pacing consistent us of body movements like eye blinks, smiles; tonality, volume; gestures; listening to an utilizing repeated phrases; cross-over matching, adjusting the tempo of voice to the person’s rate of breathing, and a very valuable one, matching their breathing.

Instead of trying to do them all at the same time, I suggest that you pick one or two and pace them comfortably.

This is what Dave Dobson does with the famous Other-than-conscious-hello. He picks a piece of behavior and acknowledges it respectfully. Since rapport is an ongoing phenomena, if one comes from a place of caring and wanting to get to know someone it works. You can do it from 30 feet away. It is a powerful tool when done with respect and courtesy. We teach the OTC hello and many other unconscious/other-than-conscious-skills in our Practitioner training. You get the opportunity to practice with your fellow participants in the class.

A Self-Exploration of the Feminine Balance.

We all have hopes and dreams. What’s stopping you from attaining them? A seemingly simple question. Notice your response. Notice your answers. What can this Wordsmythe teach you about the life you lead? The answer is, pay attention to the language that you use. The little words such as ‘just’, and ‘but’. Notice the words that come just after. They frame your motivations and help to provide comfort within your rationalizations. Comfort within your discomfort™.

Sure you could apply the meta-model challenge, yet if the words came out when others are around, you have set up a life frame where people will act and react to you. This is part of our human condition. This is far more pronounced and in many ways more hurtful for women of today. <!--break-->

Ladies, do you remember times when you felt a bit down? You may have purchased something new. Perhaps a blouse or shoes or dress? You wore it and felt great for a short time. This is an example of feelings resonating from the outside in. These are the most fleeting. Cable television shows focus on extreme change such as surgery in order to adjust the outside in hopes of changing the inside. I think this works far more profoundly from the inside out. When you consistently radiate self-love and confidence from your very core, profound satisfaction will soon be found in many other areas of your lives. How then do you alleviate your feelings when you feel less than you deserve? Too many women experience aspects of distraction in order to let go of those nagging feelings that stay with you just outside of your conscious awareness. You could change them if you were more aware of how they will limit and stop you from being the woman you were born to be.

These are some of the reasons that my wife and I developed something new, “The Core of Self-Acceptance for Women©”. We believe, and I think you will also, that accessories, worn on the outside, bring far greater reflection to a light when it shines brightly from within. Our mothers and our grandmothers looked to their mothers for inspiration. They may have had little according to today’s standards, yet they stood regally in their cause of nurturing and building solid relationships. Quietly negotiating as she insured the safety and contentment of first her family and then her community. A seemingly simple woman, dedicated to giving, creating and striving. All the while standing proud in her humble nobility. Who do we look towards today? Where else can you go and learn these important ways of behavior and to model the feminine?

Did you know that what you are saying to yourself is often worse than what you are saying on the outside? We’ll teach you both consciously and unconsciously too easily and elegantly tap into the force of nature that you already are. Imagine no longer having to question or doubt, but to grow into the healthy happy role models society currently craves.

Until next time, enjoy the flows of life.

Jeff Schoener
NLP™ Wordsmythe, LLC
888-847-3696

Sign up for The Wordsmythe Quarterly www.nlpwordsmythe.com
Ladies are invited to visit www.rightmrright.com
Also visit www.experiencetruth.net